还是英语笑话，开心一笑吧。

哥顿国际英语

2 W1 o% u9 C: `+ H1 T* y
But the teacher cried
& w+ n! O& i7 B# X. L' c" c9 s" h　　　The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled . His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum. Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms.

: o! k' S3 {0 p; p5 A# g3 ^' b; Q　　When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door.
  P& M2 [) r8 ?' M5 B* z$ Q: X
　　"Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get along all right? did you cry?"

/ u  ]  M- Q. W6 ]4 N2 `　　"Cry?" John asked. "No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!"
/ c; F" E: J* F! e0 S2 O! J4 c" ^
　　可是老师哭了

　　六岁的约翰娇生惯养。他的父亲知道这一点，可他的祖父母仍然宠着他。这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭，就是闹。他第一天上学才离开祖母的怀抱。
- W/ s  w5 _7 m; q: ^
　　约翰放学了，他奶奶在门口接他并问道：“学校怎么样？你过的好吗？哭了没有？”

; A# C) Q, z( w) S+ p5 F/ r0 E　　“哭？”约翰问，“不，我没哭，可老师哭了。”
; [) Y- ~& k! f/ x
, z0 A) X: ]$ I7 q) Q鸡过河
# r+ f. Y4 U; N# D% I4 O
9 k5 A8 P  U4 J/ l& F% C" J. m    thief小偷stole偷了一只鸡,正在river河边给鸡拔feathers毛,这时一个policeman警察走了过来,小偷急忙把鸡threw扔到了river里.

    policeman问:"你在doing干什么?river里是what什么东西?"

    thief说:"那是一只鸡,它要cross过河去,我在这里帮它watching看衣服."
5 P5 O9 H  m$ [7 {2 d& y7 M
分工
% ~1 c3 e, Y. A' M+ X+ j; S
    老李sat坐在家门口乘cool凉,看着freeway高速公路从village村里的field田里穿过,气势spectacular壮观. 一会他看见开过来一辆lorry车,在freeway边停下, 下来一个人,在freeway边dug挖了一个hole坑,然后回到车里. 过了a while一会,车上下来另一个人,把hole又填上了. 车子向前走了一段distance距离,那个人又下来dug了个hole,过一会,又是另一个人把hole填上,就这样,车子每走一段distance,就重复一次dug a hole,休息,填hole……老李十分puzzled迷惑. 他忍不住跑过去问道:"你们在doing什么?" 两个人answered回答道:"我们三个在carrying out进行一项绿化freeway的project计划,今天responsible for负责栽树的那人fell ill病了!"
& o5 P6 K' _  L5 \
Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?
7 l& ~8 l  {) t; z7 D$ z6 z; f

/ J4 z0 e+ O& T, ]A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.

+ G" O) t  ^+ p5 y8 ?, ~0 p
猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？
( |* l) O8 d+ C$ Q; U
- G' @4 q0 q" P. J+ {. O; c
# v( C& H% @' o3 I# vQ: How can you most irritate a farmer?

- P0 p) M, O3 i) W9 b) T
/ R: F; V: }. w6 JA: By treading on his corn?

$ A% G1 V; k6 z! A; G
如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。
8 r% l1 l& z& K* q, A( i- W

Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?
9 o& h  r4 |3 D: Z

A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.


( K, M) u1 \, `因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。你说呢？
/ E5 U) j3 @& c0 v) Y6 p
; B0 p* c9 Y3 x+ G) W   存钱
    姐姐在bank银行里works工作。一天，有个young年轻男人走到她的counter柜台前，悄voice声对她说：「请你把这一千块钱存入我的account户头。」她照办之後，也悄声answered说「这是你的bankbook存折，goodbye再见。」那young 人开始转身离去，但随即又折回来。「我很sorry抱歉我们得悄voice声说话，」他说，「不过，我的car汽车就停在外面，要是它听到我有extra余钱，它会又出毛病了。」他把finger手指放在lips嘴唇上，踮著tiptoes脚尖走出bank。

哥顿国际英语