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"What do you want in a Man?" or "What do you want in a girl?" is often the question to the boy or girl who is seeking for his/her partner.When you are young your standards are set very high, however, as you age, you will have to lower your standards a bit and a bit and a bit.... The following joke is absolutely hilarious yet brutally true.
! @% [% G1 o) |0 \! S "你理想的男友是什么样的"或"你理想的女友是什么样的"是大多数男孩或女孩在寻找伴侣的时候提出的问题。当你还年轻的时候标准定的相当高,但是随着年纪的增长,不得不一点一点的降低你的标准。下面的这个笑话虽然幽默但非常真实。
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# `# A1 Z& c$ f* R Age 22 - 22岁时
3 T" ^' O; ^" P7 K3 W' C What I Want in a Man - Original List8 L" b/ {2 ^7 R' y* S" Z# W
1.Handsome
& A5 d; ?2 a% L: ]% Z 2. Charming
. h ?! B; R# c, B 3. Financially successful5 z$ c4 x+ o& I+ c7 A
4. A caring listener
& n( F) i: ^8 O) W2 ]% b% D 5. Witty
! R& R/ g8 v s! }* r( o+ U 6. In good shape
; F8 Z; i1 b' z" v3 a" E. a) d" i 7. Dresses with style
/ h# k& h9 i* { 8. Appreciates finer things
3 |9 A1 p& U3 f( U! C 9. Full of thoughtful surprises
- ~# H, p/ m" g8 { 10. An imaginative, romantic lover.5 g+ c1 N& q; m4 e0 ~- r
5 j' U' X3 c$ P$ u
我理想的男友标准 - 原版' k" b. `& C) }
1. 英俊
8 X! P, y5 a- b! E" {* d$ v; B0 | 2.有魅力
; G1 w( B0 ~$ |2 g9 W+ H6 N 3.有经济实力, z3 J8 Q& Q+ z5 t
4.善于倾听1 c* J9 B6 t k1 ^. h }2 Y3 c
5.机智" x7 h) b0 E" [( J/ e M/ ?
6.良好的外形( q3 Q7 E X0 `# \( J- v1 I
7.衣着有品味- Q5 j, t8 d% y& V" D
8.欣赏美好事物
6 X8 x* x) |: J# a2 `; i 9.充满惊喜
/ o; h ~% M/ t. e1 {, |1 U 10.富有想象力的浪漫情人) v; U7 f6 l/ Z5 ~7 m
" N; ~5 s5 n( b* z
Age 32 - 32岁时& T& c" e- l$ W0 T$ `3 e2 s
What I Want in a Man - Revised List6 t8 w1 @5 B- e
1. Nice looking (prefer hair on his head)+ B, N; }" d8 e! m7 E( k; z
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
) q) |# l3 u! s7 p5 U: D 3. Has enough money for a nice dinner0 t0 F2 W" D! B
4. Listens more than talks
( e) Q' f) e6 k) d( X 5. Laughs at my jokes) X2 L# C6 P1 Y* d% g+ l
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
$ `' R; v# e- F& p) z$ Q 7. Owns at least one tie. r" p' N4 Q! r5 s! _; }# u
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal4 @' y i- y, w% c
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries8 r0 s- D, Q3 r" z
10. Seeks romance at least once a week. 6 @% `) _/ c. p- D9 @
9 w. E, V. U/ Z+ P6 B
我理想的男友标准 - 修订版
2 ^/ A1 M( W3 p0 n, t 1.五官端正(有头发者优先)/ C5 V3 o7 l- f7 N1 H% v. J
2.上车帮我开车门,入座帮我拉椅子- ~5 f3 |3 y9 T/ _
3.有足够的钱享用美妙的晚餐
" {1 u- n3 |9 x4 I& U; I 4.少说多听
' d: C& e$ I/ e9 `" ]! ?: f 5.我说笑话的时候一定要大笑
, {* o+ W6 x+ v7 m( ~ 6.逛街的时候帮我拎包6 k$ Y/ G; D5 N3 l2 l5 H
7.至少有一条领带" @0 @9 g* H H
8.喜欢家里烹饪的晚餐+ d5 S# T) o+ |- i. j7 O: F- u
9.记得我的生日和各个纪念日- t' S( ]" o4 ]; n% F$ `& ~1 v6 V
10.一周至少制造一次浪漫约会8 Y) R8 x5 k& i7 p2 c
: r# A) s. Y$ j Age 42 - 42岁时; M4 G3 h/ @; E7 a
What I Want in a Man - Revised List
: d$ c2 S# M" a 1. Not too ugly (bald head OK)
$ Y* Z4 }& C e) w0 j5 ^ 2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car/ p9 U! b9 z$ g( y3 l% j
3. Works steady -- splurges on dinner out occasionally1 C% ]0 E8 j& J# X
4. Nods head when I'm talking8 \- C" o0 B/ |7 N" Z( {/ w7 \$ \9 S
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
1 J* H" E: p' E% ]7 x! r- { 6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture" w5 ~6 a& J8 j0 t
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
6 E" `! c( _4 h# K$ A2 l" v$ a8 X 8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
/ ^$ N% r* m; v3 _, S* ?1 G9 [/ O 9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
" h4 A4 f: V3 R* |+ e 10. Shaves most weekends.
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+ ^4 \/ X# _3 x a' b7 |+ K 我理想的男友标准 - 修订版0 u; |" _5 {& Y2 y7 `: q
1.不太丑(谢顶也可)6 o: s' i7 Y6 U! Q
2.我上车后才开车
, P: I! Z- _3 ]; Y: H: i 3.工作稳定-偶尔外出吃饭7 U8 a7 ?5 ?6 _( r
4.我说话的时候点头/ \# j( s$ S' F. p
5.通常记得笑话中的妙语
, e" d/ Z. g! j: T( j 6.有足够的力气搬家具. w% |& M, ^0 ~% i5 F6 {3 o
7.没有啤酒肚! F8 x2 ]/ N' { E9 c' j, T! g9 B4 y
8.不买带螺旋盖的香槟( K3 [( q A1 m3 [) i- o
9.记得放下马桶座圈/ Y6 k4 F1 J* @' `
10.大多数周末会刮胡子
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Age 52 - 52岁时
1 R# M6 s c- L+ g; y What I Want in a Man - Revised List% D# V l0 q) y9 }+ ?
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed1 ^; U% T$ G, O, A
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public' a9 h8 ~) V5 v4 V, g* k
3. Doesn't borrow money too often6 |% z7 K/ k) ~3 h- i$ V
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
4 q9 _8 g$ R H! ? I6 Y 5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times+ k* L1 {6 V" Y. X* J8 }# M
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
2 x# {3 {8 s/ e1 |; i2 U' A+ N 7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
% Z* v, D6 y6 A; S& }7 {# }( Y" h 8. Appreciates a good TV dinner4 n. c7 j5 c$ p) H' n
9. Remembers my name on occasion' ]. ?, ?- {1 s! m: l2 n7 P" w
10. Shaves some weekends.
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我理想的男友标准 - 修订版
2 h" F) _1 }! ~! p 1.保持鼻子和耳朵处的毛发整洁, z' z. a7 q: _ f8 E$ E' ^( }
2.不在公共场合打嗝或搔痒# W5 i2 Z7 s D6 o7 B
3.向别人借钱不要太频繁0 b# Y2 s/ W8 U" l" Q) A' v2 u, U
4.当我生气的时候不许打盹睡着
2 ?: o/ {7 j2 i( ] 5.不要多次重复讲同一个笑话
( J% F3 }5 s4 B, S! i2 y 6.周末不要一直赖在床上" T" V1 [6 m# k' q$ o6 t2 v) b C/ p
7.常换内衣裤,袜子要成对
$ i$ D# E9 C J' H, D8 E 8.欣赏电视晚餐/ {: W8 C) ^4 ?% Y2 {
9.必要时记得我的名字- Q" l! m* w; \& H& Q/ k" Q8 Q
10.有时周末会刮胡子
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9 T i8 t9 G# w a( r2 q# m Age 62 - 62岁时
/ d0 m2 L' A/ d& [' U0 {: Q, f What I Want in a Man-Revised List& y% Q6 u2 i) O, @0 F4 Q
1. Doesn't scare small children1 C b: I6 Q1 u1 ?6 U4 Q
2. Remembers where bathroom is, s6 C4 ?) q1 S/ C
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
% j- [% v4 }& O# W- c4 m. B 4. Only snores lightly when asleep
) n7 V2 C7 K+ j3 U/ \5 f8 L7 t 5. Remembers why he's laughing
7 H; i( |: o- k" l 6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself$ R/ W9 g5 T; q. @4 M' k# |& S/ y
7. Usually wears clothes8 F8 [5 Y7 {- A5 ]' u
8. Likes soft foods/ y+ R7 F; j# C4 z3 b; s1 l: {
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
+ M i& k. a8 Q9 P 10. Remembers that it's the weekend. - r0 T F2 c4 r! b+ h% ?5 f$ F7 K
3 A8 ^2 C" ?+ c) x, h1 [ 我理想的男友标准-修订版' ^6 e5 m6 H; H: P5 U
1.不要吓唬小孩子- L% U! k6 E* W3 s# D
2.记得浴室在哪% `2 |) S. z5 s" r4 [0 J+ Q
3.不需要太多钱生活. k" L8 G( G8 Y c0 \ {
4.睡着的时候鼾声较小
( @9 g) ?( ~( F& j$ p i 5.记得自己为何大笑
8 m7 e0 m2 o6 O 6. 行动自如5 v0 A, `9 w$ q
7.通常穿着衣服 |% W! W T: N# u* b
8.喜欢软的食物9 |* R/ R4 D: u: g$ r" q
9.记得把自己的假牙放哪了+ ~. z' e' h: D/ N0 w* x( L. C
10.记得哪天是周末
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Age 72 - 72岁时
1 M! ~) I3 B5 }% S: ^+ D+ J& @ What I Want in a Man-Revised List6 z4 P* H1 ?& L) r& Q
1. Breathing: X/ |. U) S6 A9 x; G
2. Doesn't miss the toilet: F( q* {4 k D7 w6 c9 I
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我理想的男友标准-修订版! w( u7 ]' B6 E$ }' b
1.活的
. X' n3 t4 z! a& m! h2 G 2.能找到卫生间 |
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